150 Questions to Ask Your Parents

Most of us know our parents as parents. We know how they take their coffee and which stories they tell at every holiday. What we often don’t know is who they were before us: the kid who got in trouble, the young adult who almost moved across the country, the person who fell in love and wasn’t sure it would work out. The right questions to ask your parents can bring those people back into view.

Those stories don't get told on their own. They come out when someone asks.

This list of questions to ask your parents and grandparents is built to help you start. The questions are grouped by stage of life, from early childhood to the lessons they'd want to pass on (The same structure as our LastingMind Interviews). You don't need to ask all 150. Pick five that make you curious, set aside an hour, and see where the conversation goes.

If you're the parent or grandparent reading this, there's a section for you too. Many people decide to tell their own story rather than wait to be asked, and these questions work just as well as prompts for writing or recording it yourself.

Why we care about this. We started LastingMind after our dad had a stroke. During his recovery, we sat down with him and recorded his stories, an experience that has had a tremendous impact on our family. Since then we've helped families record over 20,000 hours of stories. The questions in this guide are the ones we've seen open people up.

In this guide:

Tips for a conversation that goes deeper than small talk
150 questions, grouped by life stage
Questions just for grandparents
How to tell your own story if you're the one with the memories
How to record and save the answers so they last

How to Ask: 7 Tips for a Better Conversation

The questions matter less than how you ask them. These tips help whether you're talking with a parent in their 50s or an elderly parent in their 90s.

Start with the easy stuff. Childhood homes, first jobs and favorite foods warm people up. Save the bigger questions about regret or faith for later, once you're both comfortable.
Ask for a story, not a fact. "Where did you grow up?" gets one word. "What did your street look like when you were ten?" gets a scene.
Follow the detour. The best stories often come from a tangent. If they light up about something, stay there. The list will still be here next time.
Get comfortable with silence. When a question lands, people often need a moment. Wait before jumping in with the next one.
Bring a prompt. An old photo, a song from their era or a family recipe can unlock memories a question alone can't.
Keep sessions short. Thirty to sixty minutes is plenty, especially with elderly parents who tire easily. Several short conversations beat one marathon.
Record it. You'll think you'll remember their exact words. You won't. Ask permission, then record the audio. Hearing their voice years from now is worth more than any notes. (More on this at the end.)

What we've learned from 10,000+ recorded conversations: We've learned that asking "why" often reveals more about someone than simply understanding what they did. The best stories come when people feel comfortable and conversations happen naturally. And often, it's the small memories and everyday moments that families end up treasuring most.

Questions About Their Childhood

1. What is your earliest memory?
2. Describe the house you grew up in. Which room do you remember most?
3. What was your neighborhood like, and who lived next door?
4. What did a normal Saturday look like when you were a kid?
5. Who was your best friend growing up, and what did you get up to?
6. What was your favorite toy or game?
7. What did your family eat for dinner most nights?
8. Did you have chores? Which one did you hate most?
9. What was the worst trouble you ever got into?
10. Which teacher made the biggest difference to you, and why?
11. What did you want to be when you grew up?
12. What were holidays like in your family?
13. Did you have a pet? What was its name?
14. What were you afraid of as a child?
15. What is something kids today will never experience that you did?

Questions About Growing Up

16. What was high school like for you? Which group did you fit into?
17. What music were you listening to as a teenager?
18. What was your first car, and where did you drive it?
19. How did you spend your summers as a teenager?
20. What was your first job, and how much did it pay?
21. Did you rebel against your parents? How?
22. What did your parents expect of you, and did you meet it?
23. What was the biggest news event you remember from your teens?
24. When did you first feel like an adult?
25. What was the hardest thing about leaving home?
26. Was there a road you almost took but didn't?
27. What advice would you give your 18-year-old self?

Questions About Love and Marriage

28. How did you meet Mom (or Dad)?
29. What was your first impression of them?
30. What was your first date like?
31. When did you know they were the one?
32. How did the proposal happen?
33. What do you remember about your wedding day?
34. Who was your first love?
35. What did your parents think of the person you married?
36. What was your first home together like?
37. What was the hardest year of your marriage, and how did you get through it?
38. What is the secret to a relationship that lasts?
39. What is the funniest argument you ever had?
40. What do you love most about your partner that others might not see?
41. What did you learn from relationships that didn't work out?
42. What do you wish someone had told you about love when you were young?

Questions About Becoming a Parent

43. How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a parent?
44. What do you remember about the day I was born?
45. How did you choose my name? Were there other names on the list?
46. What was I like as a baby?
47. What surprised you most about being a parent?
48. What was the hardest part of raising kids?
49. What did you do differently from your own parents?
50. Is there anything you'd do differently if you raised us again?
51. What is a moment as a parent you're especially proud of?
52. What did you worry about most when we were young?
53. What is a funny story about me as a kid that I don't remember?
54. How did you balance work and family?
55. What traditions did you start for our family, and why?
56. When did you feel most like a family?
57. What do you hope we took from how you raised us?

Questions About Work and Career

58. How did you end up in your line of work?
59. What was the best job you ever had? The worst?
60. Who was the best boss you ever had, and what made them good?
61. What is the proudest moment of your career?
62. Was there a job you regret taking, or not taking?
63. What did your parents do for work, and did it shape your choices?
64. Did you ever want to start your own business?
65. What was the biggest risk you took professionally?
66. How did work change over the course of your career?
67. What did you learn about money the hard way?
68. If you could have done any job, what would it have been?
69. What advice would you give someone starting their career today?

Questions About Values and Beliefs

70. What values did your parents teach you that you still live by?
71. What role has faith or spirituality played in your life?
72. What is something you believed strongly when you were young but changed your mind about?
73. What does a good life mean to you?
74. Who do you admire most, and why?
75. What is the best advice anyone ever gave you?
76. What makes you proud to be part of this family?
77. What causes or issues have mattered most to you?
78. How do you define success now, compared with when you were 30?
79. What do you think people get wrong about getting older?
80. What are you most grateful for?
81. What would you like people to say about you when you're not in the room?

Questions About Hard Times

82. What is the hardest thing you've ever been through?
83. Who helped you most when life was difficult?
84. Was there a time you thought you wouldn't make it through?
85. What is a loss that still stays with you?
86. How did our family get through tough money times?
87. What did you learn about yourself from your biggest failure?
88. Is there someone you wish you'd made peace with?
89. What gave you hope when things were bad?
90. How did major world events, like wars or recessions, affect your life?
91. What would you tell someone going through what you went through?

Questions About Family History

92. What do you know about where our family came from?
93. What were your grandparents like?
94. Are there family stories that have been passed down for generations?
95. Who in our family do you think I'm most like?
96. What was your relationship with your mother like? With your father?
97. Are there any family recipes we should make sure we never lose?
98. Who was the family character, the one everyone has stories about?
99. Are there heirlooms in our family, and what's the story behind them?
100. What traditions came from your parents or grandparents?
101. Is there a relative you wish I'd met?
102. Are there any family mysteries or secrets you can share now?
103. Who should I talk to next to learn more about our family?

Fun Questions to Ask Your Parents

104. What was the best concert you ever went to?
105. What was your go-to dance move?
106. What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?
107. What was your favorite trip, and what made it special?
108. What fashion trend do you regret most?
109. What is your favorite movie of all time?
110. If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?
111. What is your hidden talent?
112. What was the best meal you've ever eaten?
113. Were you ever famous, even for a day?
114. What is a skill you always wanted to learn?
115. What is the funniest thing that's ever happened to you?

Questions to Ask Your Parents Before It's Too Late

These are the questions people most often wish they'd asked. They can feel heavy, but most parents are glad someone wants to know.

116. What are you most proud of in your life?
117. Do you have any regrets you'd be willing to share?
118. What do you want us to remember about you?
119. What lessons do you hope we pass on to our children?
120. Is there anything you've always wanted to tell me but haven't?
121. What do you want to make sure gets done while there's time?
122. What has brought you the most joy?
123. How do you want to be remembered by your grandchildren?
124. What are you still curious about?
125. What do you think happens after we die?
126. Is there a place you'd want us to visit in your memory?
127. What are your wishes for how we celebrate your life?
128. What do you hope for each of your children?
129. What would you like to say to future generations of our family?
130. Is there anything you want to ask me?

Questions to Ask Your Grandparents

Grandparents carry a different slice of family history: an older world, and a view of your parents from before you existed. These questions to ask your grandparents start there.

131. What was my mom (or dad) like as a child?
132. What is the naughtiest thing my parent did growing up?
133. What was the world like the year you were born?
134. How have things changed most in your lifetime?
135. What invention changed your life the most?
136. What did a dollar buy when you were young?
137. How did you get news and entertainment as a kid?
138. Did you serve in the military, or did someone close to you?
139. Where did you live during the biggest historical events you remember?
140. What did you and your friends do for fun on a Friday night?
141. How did you meet Grandma (or Grandpa)?
142. What was it like to become a grandparent?
143. What do you see in me that reminds you of yourself?
144. What do you wish more young people understood?
145. What is a family story you want me to remember and tell my kids?
146. What was your own grandparents' life like?
147. What do you miss most about the old days? What don't you miss at all?
148. What is the best decision you ever made?
149. What makes you happiest these days?
150. What do you want our family to always remember?

Are You the Parent? Tell Your Own Story

You don't have to wait for your kids to ask. One of the biggest surprises in building LastingMind has been who signs up. We expected adult children recording their parents. Instead, a large share of our users are people in their 50s, 60s and 70s who start their own story, without waiting to be asked.

Every question above works as a prompt for you. Here's how to make it manageable:

Answer one question a week. Pick one each Sunday and talk or write for ten minutes. In a year you'll have more than 50 stories.
Talk instead of write. Most people are better storytellers out loud. Record a voice memo the way you'd tell the story over dinner.
Start with what only you know. Your children can look up the year you got married. They can't look up what you were thinking on the drive to the church.
Include the small stuff. The everyday details, such as the smell of your mom's kitchen or the song on the radio, are what your family will treasure most.
Share as you go. Send a story to your kids or grandkids now and then. It often starts conversations you'd never have otherwise.

A good first prompt: "What is something about my life I've never told my family?"

How to Record and Save the Answers

The answers are only worth asking for if they last. A few options, from simplest to most complete:

Your phone's voice memo app. Free and easy. The catch: the recordings end up scattered across phones and are hard to find years later.
Video call recording. Good for long-distance family. Ask permission first, and save the files somewhere the whole family can reach.
A notebook. Better than nothing, but you'll lose their voice and most of the detail.
A dedicated story app. Tools like LastingMind guide the conversation with questions like the ones above, record the answers in their voice, and organize them into a life story the whole family can keep. They can even create an interactive version that family members can ask questions of later.

If you'd rather not run the interview yourself, LastingMind also offers a guided option, where we have the conversations with your parent and shape them into a finished life story.

Whatever you choose, the most important step is the first conversation. Pick a question tonight and ask it.

Every family has stories that live in just one person's memory. LastingMind makes it easy to capture them: guided questions, voice recordings and a life story your family can keep for generations.

Start capturing your family's stories →

150 Questions to Ask Your Parents and Grandparents (Before It's Too Late)